Finding The Blogosphere

Betsy:   Blogosphere?


Betsy:   Hello? Blogosphere? Are you there?


Betsy:   Darn it all, Blogosphere! I’m talking to you!

*more silence*

Muse:   I think we maybe pissed him off.

Betsy:   We? Who’s we? I would have been talking to him 24/7 but you’ve been running me ragged.

Muse:   Damn straight! Drop and give me twenty!

Betsy:   Geeze! Not again. *falls to floor* *begins push-ups*

Muse:   MWHAHAHA! Power is mine!

Coffee:   Hey, I have some power too.

Muse:   Of course you do, babycakes. *smooch* *slurp*

Betsy:   Oh, for heaven’s sake. Can’t you two keep your hands off each other?

Muse:    You know what they say.

Coffee:   Everything’s better with caffeine.

Betsy:   Man. *stands up* *breaths heavily for a moment* Okay, where do you think the Blogosphere has gone?

Muse:    I think he’s the same place he’s always been, he’s just snubbing you.

Coffee:   Yeah. He’s got important stuff to think about, like Kate’s boobs and Snooki’s baby. Besides, what do you expect? You’ve been ignoring him.

Betsy:   I haven’t been ignoring him! Do you even WANT to know how much time I’ve spent watching the Kitten Cam? Have you seen how many hours I’ve wasted on YouTube? Ignoring him, my left pinkie.

Muse:   You’ve been turning off the internet connection regularly.

Betsy:   When I’m writing! When I’m trying to move forward with my life’s work! Then, yeah, I turn off the internet connection. And do you know why? It’s because the Blogosphere is too damned fascinating. When he’s available, I want nothing else. I crave him, as one craves chocolate, both sweet and bitter…

Coffee:   What the hell are you talking about?

Betsy:   Sorry. But my point is, it’s not that I love the Blogosphere less, it’s because I love him all the more that I must turn away. We’re just… we’re just not always good for each other…

Coffee:   Uh huh.

Betsy:   O Coffee, where oh where has my Blogosphere gone? Where are my hits? Where are my follows? Why do people no longer know my name? Why am I a stranger in a strange land?

Coffee:   *shrugs* Because nobody gives a sh—

Betsy:   Coffee!

Coffee:   –darn.

Betsy:   *sob*

Muse:   Don’t be sad, Betsy. I think I know where the Blogosphere is.

Betsy:   *sniffles* You do?

Muse:   Yes! *beams* We must follow this road—

Betsy:   This road? Why, I never noticed it before! And it appears to be made of…yellow bricks?

Muse:   Yes! And we must head through this field of poppies.

Coffee: Whoa, man. Look at all the pretty butterflies…

Muse:   To that green city over there!

Betsy:   Do you mean that Emerald City, Muse? *wide eyed surprise*

Muse:   Yes! It used to be owned by Tom Cruise!

Betsy:   And we’ll find the Blogosphere there?

Muse:   Yes! He’s hiding behind a curtain creating illusions for those who seek him.

Betsy:   Then let’s go! And we’ll find my hits, my follows, my name.

Muse:   Sure.

Betsy:   *starts skipping down the road* We’re off to see the Blogosphere! The wonderful Blogosphere of the Internet…

Coffee:   I’d better go. She’s not going to be able to skip long without me.

Muse:   *sigh*


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