Putting Coffee In The Friendzone

As we join Betsy, she is sitting behind her desk in her office in her brain, waiting. She’s known that she needed to have this conversation for weeks, but she kept putting it off, hoping against hope she wouldn’t have to go there. After all, how can she friendzone someone she loves so very much? How can she walk away from him? How can she intentionally distance herself from him? Her heart feels heavy in her chest.

On the other hand, her heart is also beating pretty rapidly. Which isn’t exactly…good. And she can’t seem to settle. In fact, she’s fidgeting restlessly in her chair and her mind is racing. Maybe she shouldn’t have spent so much time with her loved one earlier that morning.

She fiddles with some papers on her desk, her knee bouncing. She tries to calm that leg and the other one starts.

Yes, this conversation is definitely overdue.

Let’s see what happens…


The door to Betsy’s office opens and Coffee, the Beverage of Champions, strolls into the room.

“Ah, my dear. It iz zo good to see you, n’est pas?” Coffee smirks, confident of his welcome.

“Thanks for coming,” Betsy says, her whole body starting to jitter in his presence. “Um, nice French Roast accent.”

“Zank you.” Reaching behind his back, he pulls out a mug. “Shall I pour?”


Coffee pauses and bubbles a bit.

“No?” For the first time, there is uncertainty in his deep brown gaze.  “But I brought the half-and-half.”

“No.” Betsy grips her desk. She needs to be strong. But, oh, the temptation. The scent of him, the strength of him… No! She won’t think about that now!

“Please sit down. I need to talk to you.”

“Oh. Okay.” The accent gone, Coffee sloshes on the edge of the visitor’s chair. “What’s up?”

Betsy fiddles with the papers again. “Um, I, uh, think we…geez this hard.”

“What’s hard?” Coffee looks even more puzzled.

Betsy draws in a deep breath. Draws in the enticing aroma of him.

“I think we need to back off,” she says quickly before she loses her nerve. “I don’t think we should be so intense anymore.  I think we should be…friends.”

Coffee blinks wide, dark eyes. “Excuse me?”

“It’s not you, it’s me. It’s totally me.”

“But we’ve been spending so much time together lately.” Coffee sounds confused. “Long lazy mornings. Dawdling together all through the day. I’ve been with you every moment, your constant companion. We’re closer than we’ve ever been.”

“I know.” Betsy reaches across the desk to him, then pulls back her hand and drops it to her side. She looks away. “It’s too much, Coffee. Just too much.”


“You’re more than I can handle, Coffee. You overwhelm me. I can’t sleep. My stomach hurts. And my blood sugar—”

Coffee smiles. “But you’ve talked like this before. Lots of times. And you always come back.”

“I know.”

“It’s because we’re meant to be together.”

“No.” Betsy reaches for him again. Again, she draws back her hand. “I love you, but no.”

“No.” Coffee scowls. “What do you mean, no?”

“I mean no! I’m not saying we’ll never see each other. I want to be friends. Pals. I still want to hang out with you. But we can’t be exclusive anymore. We just… can’t.”

Coffee percolates ominously. “You’re dropping me?”

“No!” Betsy pleads with him to understand. “Of course not. How can I? We’ll still have the mornings. A hot cup…”

“Or two?” Coffee asks hopefully.

“Maybe.” Betsy concedes. “But no more than that! I mean it. I’m going spend more time with Decaf. Or, maybe even Herbal Tea, even though it tends to taste like grass. But I want to get to know both of them better.”

“Herbal tea?” Coffee looks disgusted. “Decaf? Those are just poor substitutions for what you really want, baby.”

“I know.” Betsy wipes her tear-filled eyes. “But I have to try. You…you’re too strong. You take over and…I need to make my way by myself without heart palpitations and insomnia.”

Coffee thinks. “Well, I don’t know my own strength sometimes,” he admits. “We’ll still hang out?”


“And you’ll still come to me when you’ve got problems?”

“Oh, I’m sure I will.”

Coffee is silent for another moment. Then shrugs. “Okay.”

“Good.” Betsy settles back with a sigh.

“Right.” Coffee smiles. It’s just a little evil. “Tell you what.  Let’s drink to it.”

Uh oh…


To be continued…



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