Love Sonnets and Coffee

*stir, stir, stir* *sip*

Hello, coffee.


How are you?

I’m feeling a little light.

Hey, you don’t have a French accent today. You sound kind of…midwestern.

No more French Roast. I’m the store brand.

Oh. *sip* Did you know that today is the anniversary of William Shakespeare’s baptism?


Do you care?


I’m surprised we get along so well. *sip* Oh, now I remember why.


I don’t suppose you would consider reading me a Shakespearean sonnet?


Let me get this straight. You want me to read you a Shakespearean sonnet while you drink me?


What do you think I am?

A consumable.

Consumable? I’m the elixer of life.

True. If coffee be the drink of life, drink on.

Wow. If I read you a sonnet, will you stop mangling other quasi-Shakespearean quotes?


Okay. Could you…just keep your hands to yourself for a minute while I do this?

Oh, sorry.


My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips’ red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask’d, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.

Thank you, coffee. That was delightful. Although I do wish you would have read it with a French accent.

You’re the one who went generic.

But…did I hear you say that my breath…reeks?

Only of me.

Oh.  That’s okay then.



  1. You are one funny gal, Betsy! Loved this:-)

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