Ruminations and Reflections

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness…

Charles Dickens
A Tale of Two Cities

2017 was one heck of a year.  One heck of a freaking year. For me, it was a year of loss and a year of joy. As Mr. Dickens says above, it was a year of wisdom and a year of foolishness.

Most of all, 2017 was a year of uncertainty.

That’s okay. Some uncertainty can be good. It can even be healthy. We live our lives as if everything is secure and settled, and then a year like 2017 comes along and reminds us that is not true. It wakes us up and shows us that we have to live our lives–we can’t merely slide through them.   We can’t stand on a foundation that doesn’t really exist.

It’s been a little difficult to deal with some of the situations 2017 brought me, but some difficulty can be good too. It can help you see what’s important. Difficulty is not pleasant.  Neither is uncertainty.  But they can be good teachers.

The gift I received in 2017 was the experience of seeing that, even in the midst of difficult times, I was able to keep writing.  I got derailed for several months, and I didn’t get nearly as much done as I’d hoped or planned that I would, but I was able to get back on the horse and move forward. I didn’t respond as well as I would have liked, but I did keep going.

2018 will have its own challenges and its own difficulties.  It will teach its own lessons.  In fact, I can see the shadow of some potential lessons lurking out on the horizon like sharks. I have to admit the thought of some of the obstacles terrifies me.  But the other thing I learned from 2017 was that if you keep your head down and put one foot in front of the other, you can push your way through a gale-force wind.

I also know that as I move forward I have to be honest about the reality of my situation, both financially and professionally.  I can’t get so caught up in the story I’m telling myself about who I am that I forget all common sense. I can’t get so caught up in the shiny possibilities that I’m not grounded in reality. And, conversely, I can’t let myself get so beaten down by reality that I can’t see the potential yet to be, grasp it, and create it in my life.

I wish I had a list of specific goals and a detailed schedule for 2018 that I could share with you.  I do have some overarching objectives, but the fact is that right now there are aspects of my life that are still uncertain.  I’ll have to wait to do detailed scheduling until I see how they resolve themselves.  I’ll share more here once I see how the wind will blow.  But writing will happen, no matter what. I might fall down on my bum repeatedly, but I do get back up again.

For now, I’ll say that my goal in 2018 is to keep on keeping on.  And to keep sailing through the choppy waters of uncertainty.

I hope you all have a wonderful and fruitful New Year.  Thanks for being with me.






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