The Muse Bulks Up




Wow, it’s really dark and empty in here. *Betsy looks around her brain*


*scitter, scatter*


*jumps* What’s that?!?!?! Oh!  Oh, it’s the video game I just finished. Whew. *Betsy walks a little further into her brain* *footsteps echo* Boy. This is kind of creepy. I should probably go read something.


*clang* *huff* *clang*


Hey, that sounds like…excercise equipment? *Betsy walks forward* *Peers cautiously around some serotonin* What the… Muse? Muse, is that you?


*clang* *huff* *clang*   Yo.   *clang*


Muse, are you…lifting weights?


What da hell da ya think I’m doin’?




*clang* *Muse lifts barbell and racks the weights* *sits up* *straddles bench* *wipes face with towel* I said, what da hell da ya think I’m doin’? ‘Course I’m liftin’.


Why are you talking like that, Muse?


Like how?


You’re dropping all of your ‘ng’s and ‘t’s. You sound like a boxer.


Sorry. It’s the way we bulked up people talk.


Right. *studies Muse* You do have a lot of muscles. And you kind of…ripple.


Yeah, I do, don’t I? *Muse flexes biceps* Plus, I can crush walnuts with my thighs.


O-kay. Mind if I ask why you’re doin’…uh….doing all of this?


You know what they say – you’ve got to excercise your writing muscles the same way you excercise your physical muscles. You’ve actually been writing lately. So I’ve been getting the chance to do some heavy lifting.


That’s good, I guess. Um, Muse, your voice is really deep.




And are you growing…is that…chest hair?


*Muse stands slowly* *approaches Betsy* *fists hands at sides* You wanna make something of it, beeyotch?


No! No, ma’am. I was just making an observation. *Betsy holds up hands and backs away* But you’re not, you know, taking anything illegal are you?


*Muse flexes again and grunts loudly* Nah. This is what happens when you excercise your Muse regularly.


She turns into a…guy?


No, dumbass! Why would you need a guy for a Muse? When you excercise your Muse she gets strong. *Muse holds pose* biceps bounce* Oh, yeah. I can kick me some writing butt.


Excellent. If a trifle disturbing.


And a good idea, right? Especially now that you’ve called yourself a business for tax purposes. So get the hell out of your brain and and let me do something productive. *Muse turns and walks back over to the weight bench* *studies barbell* I think I need to add another ten pounds.


Okay. Um, Muse, why are all of these mirrors hanging around?


What’s the point of working out if you can’t see yourself doing it?


I don’t watch myself write.


What do you call this blog?


Oh. Good point.


*Betsy leaves her brain*



  1. I love your conversations!

    • Betsy Horvath says

      @Doris: Thanks, Doris! I figure if I’m going to have all of these voices in my head, I might as well get some mileage out of them. LOL 😀

  2. What a welcome and much needed break! Doris is so right — your conversations crack me up, and kick me along, too!!

    Thanks for brightening up yet another day with your post!!

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