“Titus Andronicus” With Spoilers

I’ve been listening to the audio book for Simon Schama’s A History of Britain, and it made me think of my favorite British subject – Colin Firth. No, no – I’m kidding. I mean William Shakespeare. Really. Shakespeare.  Uh, yeah.

Anyway, I find it comforting to remember that even the glorious Mr. Shakespeare wrote some real oinkers in his time.  As a favor to budding authors, playwrights and English majors everywhere, I thought I would offer up a summary of one such play today – “Titus Andronicus”.  Let it be known that staid English professors across the land have made it their career goal to prove that Bill never wrote this play.  But since they can’t prove that Bill actually wrote ANY of his plays, I feel we can assume it belongs to him and he’s just going to have to own it.

“A Rose for Emily” with Spoilers

If you want to be an English major, you are going to have to read a lot of things you really can’t stand and then write papers about them.  And discuss them.  And sometimes you’ll have to pretend you like them. And that may scar your psyche.

One work of literature that scarred me for life is “A Rose for Emily”, a story by William Faulkner.  Here is a short summary, with spoilers.  Feel free to take notes.

Okay, so there’s this old broad in the South named Emily. She died. Before she died, she looked bloated and her house smelled bad. Before she looked bloated and her house smelled bad, she hooked up with a Yankee named Homer. THAT caused some scandal, let me tell you.