Finding The Blogosphere

Betsy:   Blogosphere?

*silence*

Betsy:   Hello? Blogosphere? Are you there?

*crickets*

Betsy:   Darn it all, Blogosphere! I’m talking to you!

*more silence*

Muse:   I think we maybe pissed him off.

Betsy:   We? Who’s we? I would have been talking to him 24/7 but you’ve been running me ragged.

Muse:   Damn straight! Drop and give me twenty!

Betsy:   Geeze! Not again. *falls to floor* *begins push-ups*

Muse:   MWHAHAHA! Power is mine!

Coffee:   Hey, I have some power too.

Muse:   Of course you do, babycakes. *smooch* *slurp*

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Branding Ms. Betsy

I’m so glad you’ve agreed to meet with me today, Blogosphere.

I didn’t have much choice. You kept googling me.

Yes, well, *hum* I wanted to reach out to you and get your thoughts on how I can build my author brand. I envision this as an informal brainstorming session, if you will.

I think you should finish your next book.

You are, after all, the expert on this kind of thing, as well as being a vast repository of knowledge in general.

You could write more books after you finish this one.

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Dueling With The Blogosphere

Blogosphere.

Betsy.

En garde!

*slash* *clatter* *slash* *parry parry* *jab jab jab*

You’re amazing, Blogosphere.

Thank you. I’ve studied *duck* hard to become so.

*parry parry thrust*

Tell me why we’re fighting again? Oops! *Blogosphere throws sword in air* *sommersaults off rock to ground below* *catches sword as it falls from sky*

Because. *Betsy throws sword into ground* *leaps gracefully off rock to ground below* *grabs sword and slashes it through the air*

Because why? *parry slash*

Because you, Blogosphere are encroaching too far into my writing time and I must beat you into submission.

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The Anniversary Post

*music plays softly in background* *candles flicker*

Come here, Blogosphere!

*No answer*

Oh, Blogosphere!

*Still no answer*

Ohhh baaabbyyy…my sweet baaabbbbyyy….you’re the one…

What!?! Sweet God, stop singing!

Hello, Blogosphere.

What do you want? And why are you wearing cropped pants that are way too tight?

Well, love is strange.  *swishes side to side* Do you like them?

I’m seeing parts of you I never wanted to. You look like you’re trying to reenact a scene from Dirty Dancing.

Maybe more than one. *smiles flirtatiously* *draws square with hands* This is my personal dance space.

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A Betsy’s Blog Christmas Party


“Christ-mas is coming! The goose is getting FAAATTTT–“

Blogosphere?

“Please to put a penny in the old man’s HAAAAATTTTTT–“

Blogosphere!

“If you have no penny, a ha’ penny will DOOOOOOOOOO….”

Blogosphere! Shut up for a minute!

What? Oh, hey. How’s it going?

What are you doing up on that ladder?

What does it look like I’m doing? I’m decoratin’

You’re decoratin’, uh, I mean, you’re decorating? Again?

Yeah. For the party.

Party?

Yeah. Party. Must you repeat everything I say?

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Relationship Crisis

Hello?

*silence*

Hello, is anybody there?

*crickets chirping*

Blogosphere? Are you there? *clicks tongue* Here Blogosphere! Come here, little Blogosphere! Sweet little Blogosphere…

Excuse me, but did you really just call me like you would call a dog?

Oh, Blogosphere! There you are.

So, are we talking again?

Of course we’re talking! When were we not talking?

How about for the last two or three weeks.

I talked to you. I posted regularly and I was on Facebook and Twitter and–

I don’t give a crap about Facebook and Twitter.

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